urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12 laraine louise lynch laraine louise lynch 2008-07-20T22:58:23Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:111393 2008-07-20T22:58:23Z 2008-07-20T22:58:23Z i'm trying to embrace confusion. it's more fun? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:111354 2008-07-20T10:05:19Z 2008-07-20T10:05:19Z how heavy the days are.<br />there's not a fire that can warm me,<br />not a sun to laugh with me,<br />everything bare,<br />everything cold and merciless,<br />and even that beloved, clear<br />stars look desolately down, <br />since i learned in my heart<br />love can die.<br /><br />hermann hesse urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:110989 2008-07-16T06:40:52Z 2008-07-16T06:40:52Z i hate when people use <i>whilst</i>.<br /><br />fuck, god damn urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:110612 2008-07-16T03:34:16Z 2008-07-16T06:13:02Z good idea brian had on the bus: emergency nooses.<br /><br />you know, that come out of a ceiling compartment.<br /><br />only because we were listening to a 17 yr old tell an estimated 45 yr old how good he is at video games for the entirety of the trip. just a half hour. still. <br /><br />a bus really would be the first and last place i'd want to die. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:110459 2008-07-15T00:26:37Z 2008-07-15T00:26:37Z horrible day. nothing worked. liked watching eagles. but i have to redo this monday next monday. and i didn't get paid. girl's got s ta get paid.<br /><br />the wind is keeping me alive. and hooked on a feeling. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:110293 2008-07-12T19:02:34Z 2008-07-12T19:02:34Z after this summer i shouldn't try to do customer service again. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:110036 2008-07-10T23:37:49Z 2008-07-10T23:37:49Z bonny - only someone running<br /><br />Only someone running would run right into me<br /> Unless that someone was someone free like me<br /> <br /> There are things I will not do<br /> I will even be mean and cruel<br /> And I will not stay with you<br /> unless you give me all of yourself<br /> <br /> When I was a sandy blue<br /> and friendship dwelled in western true<br /> Smokin pill and lovely too<br /> That was before you gave a view<br /> <br /> We'll make a future dream be ours<br /> Through your eyes I swallow flowers<br /> and disdain the winter showers<br /> choosing then to bathe in you<br /> <br /> And I sing evil, I sing good<br /> I sing as a seagull should<br /> And if you melted then I would<br /> melt myself all into you<br /> Can you love the one that God does?<br /> Can you love the lily of the field?<br /> Can you tend the soil inside of her<br /> till all has been revealed?<br /> <br />whistling <br /> <br /> And I sing evil, I sing good<br /> I sing as a seagull should<br /> And if you melted then I would<br /> melt myself all into you<br /> Can you love the one that God does (can you love the one that God does)?<br /> Can you love the lily of the field (can you love the lily of the field)?<br /> Can you tend the soil inside of her (can you tend the soil inside her)<br /> till all has been revealed? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:109665 2008-07-10T21:23:52Z 2008-07-10T21:35:32Z i waited for the sun but it might as well be clouds. work was busy yesterday. and there's mango sorbet. it's real swell. <br /><br />i had to see will; i obsessed about it. now i feel like an idiot, a lunatic and a half-dead baby. how does my heart still get ripped out? as emotionless as i feel i'm even more vulnerable. <br /><br />and to think i was hopeful for about a day. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:109430 2008-07-08T08:36:51Z 2008-07-08T08:36:51Z i don't call it pressure because it's from the inside working out<br />or not<br />something is in me and it's not what i ...<br />i don't relate to any fucker's language<br />what i'm feeling is opposite of anyone; changing current sometimes cycle: anxiety, sadness and blankness and fake anger to myself<br />i'm freaked out by everything i say<br />human contact is horrifying<br />everything is meaningless but hurts very bleakly; i don't know if it's pain<br />i have never been in love and never will but this isn't about that and i don't want to be in love anyway<br /><br />my back hurts and i want to be in a wheelchair and maybe with cancer and get this fucking shit over with.<br />haha i'll never get off again<br /><br /><br />i love being alone because i'm not scared<br />i hate being alone because i'm alone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:109204 2008-07-06T11:07:06Z 2008-07-06T11:07:06Z i really hate my parents.<br />reading bukowski might make you a [better] person. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:108981 2008-07-03T06:59:52Z 2008-07-03T06:59:52Z i've been watching the death cycle of a pumpkin since i moved into aloha. it's slow but not boring.<br /><br />one load of laundry has taken nearly 12 hours. i assumed the dryer would work even though the washer didn't. can it be that a janky washer needs a janky dryer? fuck holes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:108764 2008-07-02T22:59:43Z 2008-07-02T22:59:43Z it was wretched getting up this morning. i had disturbing dreams. though i'd rather be there than awake. i managed to stretch and clean and i can't say that i'm happy but i'm slightly more comfortable. <br /><br />i needed to clean my work shirt so i attempted to do a load of laundry today. what a dreary thing. i go back down when i think it might be done. it's stopped and there are even 33 minutes left. i eventually have to sit down there when it has 15 minutes left because it will quit if i go up to my apartment. so i read and listen to it make a million shaking sounds. when it's done it won't open. but it finally does after i cuss it out enough. here's to today. at least it's hot. it's so much better when people are miserable in the heat and i'm fine then when i'm miserable in the cold and everone's fine. <br /><br />i hate when people laugh really loud at nothing because they don't know how to shut up. it's so hard to smile urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:108431 2008-07-02T07:43:13Z 2008-07-02T07:43:13Z fuck&nbsp;this fuck this <br />fuck this urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:108202 2008-07-01T18:33:59Z 2008-07-01T18:33:59Z you are the only one that makes me feel comfortable now. but get out of my head. <br />i'm going to be laying down if you'd like to call.<br /><br />xoxo<br />crumbles urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:107988 2008-07-01T07:02:53Z 2008-07-08T08:43:27Z no discoveries yet; feel disqualified with absence. actually, i can walk as far as taken. <br /><br />am of no real use -- feel deserving -- though alone -- without anyone.<br /><br />all together is distant and echoing with familiarity. always there but proven only a few times<br /><br />alone is too real (true). urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:107602 2008-07-01T04:27:25Z 2008-07-01T06:55:59Z hmm. no boyfriend, no alcohol .. what .. do ..i ..do? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:107291 2008-06-26T09:10:31Z 2008-06-26T09:10:31Z it's over. i think. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:107011 2008-06-24T07:51:45Z 2008-06-24T07:52:36Z dudemansir, i shuddered: you had the gall to gawk at my caffeine headache. only fiends get headaches, probably. ENOUGH<br /><br />H: would you rather loose three of your hobbies or loose your sex drive?<br /><br />L:&nbsp; well, i don't have either.<br /><br />H: that's sad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:106811 2008-06-14T21:25:46Z 2008-06-14T21:25:46Z an adult scoop should weigh one pygmy marmoset (5 oz). urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:106692 2008-06-13T22:58:51Z 2008-06-13T23:06:42Z it's friday the thirteenth and i'm going to be serving ice cream tonight. <br /><br />13<br />spill<br />doom<br />crouton<br />tether-ball urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:106455 2008-06-04T03:01:48Z 2008-06-04T03:01:48Z you're only as healthy as you feel.<br /><br />good. good urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:106170 2008-06-03T02:37:09Z 2008-06-03T02:37:09Z just want to say that this was the most oregon day i've ever seen and i'd rather be in the belly of a whale. not really. but what the crap?&nbsp; urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:105810 2008-05-30T02:44:39Z 2008-05-30T02:44:39Z and them kinks that fouled me up.<br /><br />i &lt;3 the kinks, though.<br /><br />i'll talk to you later, butthole. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:105638 2008-05-26T17:37:00Z 2008-05-30T02:07:03Z <i>i'm set free </i>by the velvet underground makes me feel great.<br /><br />i can't stop listening to it. it and <i>jigsaw puzzle </i>by the rolling stones.<br /><br />haha why'd i say that. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:missglass12:105247 2008-05-24T19:09:34Z 2008-05-24T19:09:34Z how does anybody in there twenties write something of substance that isn't complete bs? they had to have experienced much early in life. <br /><br />i have urges to write. but i have to do it later. if i'm old i'll have experienced and i will also be more patient to organize my thoughts. for now i'll observe. <br /><br />this is what i know now:<br /><br />fucking up is way more easy than not. i love myself no matter what; that's strange but i revel in it. you can't count on anything but no one can make their way inside your being; your quintessence. i'm glad for that. <br /><br />i get really bad headaches.